Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I had no idea such a day existed until my friend Pam wrote about it on her blog. As I sat there and read her entry it all started coming back so fresh that I knew I would have to write about it at some point today. I think it is wonderful to have a day of remembrance. It is nice to think someone knows you need to remember. I am one of those people who remembers. I remember the excitement, the fear, the joy of finding out I was pregnant. The dreaming, the planning the anticipating. The hurt, the pain, the confusion, the anger. I remember seeing other people with babies and physically aching for want of one to hold of my own. I remember barely surviving a good friends baby shower. I remember a hurt unlike anything I have ever felt before. But then the rain stopped, the clouds got lighter and the sun eventually came out. God put three people in my life at the time who truly pulled me through the dark. Katherine who gave me permission to be angry and brought me ice cream. Jan who gave me a goal and new kind of pain through running. Sandy(my sister) who gave me a flower to plant so I would know she remembered. Thank you God for those ladies. Now, the pain is not so sharp. I think about my babies with God and smile that I will see them again one day. I still remember every birthday and sometimes wonder what if... but God has a plan. He always has and always will and today I have 3 children here with me to nurture and love . Who bless me beyond what I ever could have dreamed.
There are many of you that have had miscarriages like myself or have lost a child after only moments with them. I hope you give yourself this day to remember. For those especially close to me, Sandy, Pam, Dana , Cassy, Tiffany I want you to know that I do remember and I love you.
Tara
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