I'm back

I feel like I haven't written in forever. We had a great, but busy, Christmas. I can hardly believe that a week ago was Christmas eve. The kids had a great Christmas. They were excited on Christmas morning thrilled with the presents under the tree. We had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends and I found my new favorite game. Boggle. Never played but my niece got it for Christmas and LOVE IT. That is going on my list of must haves.(well, maybe not must have but REALLY want). We are preparing for New Years Eve. We have a few friends coming over and I am looking forward to ringing in the New Year with them. My friend Pam asked a few questions over on her blog so I thought I would answer them.

1-Did you complete your resolutions that you made this year?
Not completely, but I did lose 20 pounds last year and am hoping to do it again. I did start journaling(here).

2- Most exciting part of 2009
My husband started a new job that was made for him and he absolutely loves it.
Caden is reading and Ethan is reading chapter books and Sophie can (sorta) spell her name.
Made some great new friends.
I have a new niece and nephew coming from Ethiopia.

3-What did you struggle with the most in 2009?
Troy working late hours and being here "on-duty" by myself 24-7
Remember to be Mommy not just teacher

4-What did God do for me this year?
Healed, provided, protected

5-What is your greatest accomplishment?
I think my greatest accomplishment this year would be being a supportive wife(even when I didn't feel like it), changing the eating habits of my family, becoming more educated on foods and nutrition.

Take the time and answer the questions for yourself. I hope you have a Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas

I have not posted a lot of photos lately so here you go.

Our Christmas card picture that I still haven't mailed out.


Our Christmas tree. The kids decorated the whole thing.


visits with santa







How the spent the first snow. The boys out in it for hours, Sophie lasted 15 minutes and came in for hot chocolate.




Always ready to turn it on for the camera.


Wonder where they got it.

Happy Birthday Jesus

Twas the night before Christmas

The children were nestled all snug on a mattress in my floor
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads

Rejoice

It's Christmas Eve. My hubby has run out to be an elf and help put some toys together with a friend. My monkeys have pulled the mattresses off their beds and are "sleeping" in my room tonight. (As if that is different than any other night minus the mattresses). We have had a great day spent focused on our Lord and having some great family time. I will talk more about our family day later but tonight's post has a particular focus because as great as the day was my heart was heavy all day. You see at 8:30 this morning I got a call from my sister. She had called to tell me that a dear friend of the family, Grace, had died of cancer yesterday and they were holding the funeral today. Grace was not just any "friend" of the family. She was a very special lady. She lived next to me when I was growing up. Her granddaughter(which lived with her) was my best friend. So, she was like another Mom. I spent nearly as much time at her house as I did at my own house. If you are not in the mood for a particularly long post you might want to stop but I need to remember. As today progressed I recalled so many great memories of Grace. She always had a smile on her face, she was ready to take you in and love on you but she would keep you in line. I think she called me Tara Brooke as much my mama did. Dusty and I always got into mischief and I was scared of Grace. She wouldn't think twice about turning me over her knee. I quickly learned to use the basement door to escape punishment. I always knew she loved me. I was with Grace watching the Challenger, home from school with the chicken pox. Grace was always good at putting things into perspective when my parents divorced. She was always very supportive of Troy and I and our relationship. She just has always been there. When I heard the news this morning I was sad, but then I was scared. I wasn't sure if Grace had Jesus in her heart. I had talked to her about it but never gotten a clear answer. But tonight I am rejoicing because in October(not long after I had my last visit with her) she called her pastor and as she would say"took care of business". I am rejoicing tonight because she is feeling no more pain. She doesn't have to worry about the sun on her skin. She is basking in the radiance of Her Lord. I am heartbroken for her family who will miss the matriarch of their family. My friend Dusty I am praying for you as I know you are feeling lost without her. For Ricky who was the only boy and boys and their mamas have something special. For her whole family who is grieving this wonderful woman who played such a big part in their lives. I am praying for you and I am rejoicing tonight because we know without a doubt where she is.

Getting ready

Well, we have finished up all preparations for Christmas. The kids and I spent the morning preparing a puppet show for their daddy for Christmas. It is going to be hilarious. We have wrapped all the presents. The last load of laundry is in the wash and we are packing the bags. I am looking forward to tomorrow. Our family will be celebrating a Day with God. We haven't done this before but think it will be a big hit. Troy and I have planned an age appropriate day to honor God. I'll let you know how it goes. I have 1 out of 3 asleep and two are camping in my room tonight. Daddy is working late so it is just not worth it some nights. I just want them to sleep. I hope that you are all ready for Christmas and will have a relaxing day with family and friends tomorrow.

Some ramblings

I love Christmas. I always have. When I was growing up it was always a fun time. We would go to my grandparents house on Christmas Eve. The house would be packed with 6 kids, 10 grandkids and 10 great grandkids. There was always great food and my Uncle Jesse would play his guitar and we would sing Christmas carols. There was always gift time where I would always get a doll, lip gloss and knee-hi socks. Then all the grandchildren and great grandchildren would line up in front of my grandpa and he would give us all brand new dollar bills. Then around 9:30 we would turn on the tv and see where Santa was a everyone would load up to hurry to bed. Those were great times. As I got older I loved Christmas because it was a time that my mom and dad did things together. Those times seemed to get few and further between as I got older. My grandparents died within a year of each other when I was in high school and my parents seperated the day after Christmas my sophmore year of high school. As much as I love this time of year and as I have gotten older I have truly understood the true meaning of Christmas there are always days or moments that the sadness takes over. Today was one of those days. I know lots of people have gone through divorces but the story didn't end there. You see the divorce of my parents was caused by an alcoholic father. Through the years we have gone through peaks and valleys. Peaks when my dad seems to understand the severity of his disease and he gets help and stops drinking. Then valleys when the drink is more important than anything and he pushes all that love him away. That is where we are today. We have been in a valley for almost three years. Three years ago my dad left on Christmas Eve with a hug and an I love you and that was the last time I saw him that way. The alcohol has totally consumed his mind and his life and because of one event he has chosen to dismiss me and my kids from his life. It hurts. It hurts bad. I know that I am doing the right thing. I know God was honored in the situation, but He's my daddy. There are days when I just want to hear his voice. I just want to hear him say I love you squirt. I think the hardest thing for me is that he is choosing to not have a relationship with me. That I could talk to him if he would pick up the phone. Nevertheless, God has seen me through and I have learned and grown from this. What I have learned in the last 3 years is that my dad is human. That all humans have the ability to disappoint us but I have one who will always be faithful. I have Abba to wrap his arms around me and tell me He loves me. I have Abba to guide me, to protect me, to listen to my hurts and my joys. So on the days, like today, that the hurt is overwhelming I just call on my heavenly Daddy and the hurt starts to ease. The sun starts to shine a little brighter and I get a spring in my step. I go back to playing uno, washing clothes or chasing the cats out of the house and there is a smile on my face and peace in my heart. My Abba is in control and for that I am very thankful.

I did not go on a marathon shopping day with my mom and sister that lasted 15 (yes that is right) hours. Only a crazy person would do that.

I did not buy stocking stuffers for myself because Troy will probably not have time.

I did not stay up until 4:30ish am talking to my sister the day after shopping for 15 hours. I am a responsible mom who always gets enough sleep so she is not a grump the next day.

I am not as excited about Christmas as my kids. Counting down the days and shaking presents. No way I am way to composed and serious for that.

Happy Monday(FOUR DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS)

A great day!

We had about 4 inches of snow yesterday and woke up to a winter wonderland. I know 4 inches is not much for a lot of people but for us a good snow. I have been fighting a cold for several days and so my hubby let me sleep in this morning.(what a sweet man!.) I got up an snuggled the kids while we watched Saturday morning cartoons. Then we hit the snow. Our neighbor has the best hill and she lets us ruin her snow to sled down her front hill. We had a good time. I mainly stood at the top and helped them get on but it was fun to watch. Hopefully the next snow I will feel like participating more. The kids love it. Troy even went down a few times. We had snowball fights and built snowmen. After 2 hours the kids were wet and exhausted. We came in had lunch, I made cookies and we snuggled in front of the fire and played UNO. The kids wandered upstairs where a fantasy land of princesses and knights came to life while Troy and I took a "nap".(Drifting in and out while I listened to the kids play) A good supper, baths and we are winding down for the night. Troy and I are going to wrap some presents and maybe watch a movie online. Getting ready for church in the morning.
Sounds like a great day to me.

How did you spend your day?

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

It's snowing in NC. My three monkeys are out in it and I am getting dressed to join them.
Yea!!! Pictures to follow.

Ethan did not stand in front of the fire and pull down his pants to warm his bottom. We are very modest and would never do that.
Caden did not follow that with a warning to Ethan to not roast his "marshmellows". We never discuss our body parts with cute names.
I did not have my suitcase from Thanksgiving still in my room with clothes in it. I always unpack immediately.
My boys did not unpack it for me so they could zip each other in it and slide down the stairs in my suitcase. That would be insane.
I did not let Sophie eat as many hershey kisses as she put in the bowl as she said,"One for me, one for the bowl." While we were baking last week. I would never let her eat chocolate for lunch.

This week's not me Monday on Wednesday.

Update

For those of you prayed for Ethan and my date here is an update. Ethan woke up on Friday morning with a 103 fever. After a visit to the doc confirmed it was strep throat. Our babysitter works at the hospital so she was unable to come. Completely understandable. So, we got some movies, some special drink for the sick kid and all got in our pjs to spend the night. At 4:30 I got a text from one of the college girls that I do a Bible study with and she said she would come. So needless to say I jumped up, in the shower, calling Troy and we made it to the restaurant 5 minutes late. We had a great time with his co-workers and then had a date. We did some Christmas shopping and Starbucks and a lot talking and holding hands. We got home a little after midnight. It was the start of a great weekend. Today is our 14 year anniversary. We are putting the kids to bed early and watching a chick flick in front of the fire. Thanks for the prayers. God truly blessed our night. And by the way Ethan is feeling much better.

Please Pray

I am a little bummed tonight. This is a purely selfish request but Troy and I have been looking forward to a night out for, well way too long, and we have a babysitter for tomorrow night so we can go to his company Christmas party and do some shopping.
(That was a very long run on sentence). Anyway, Ethan has a fever tonight. Please pray that he will be better by morning and we can keep our plans. I desperately want some time with my hubby.

Thanks
Tara

Cookies, Cookies everywhere

Okay, so I just had the best day. I spent 11 hours baking cookies with a new friend. We talked, laughed, worshiped, prayed, made a huge mess and came out with about 30 dozen cookies. We have them all packaged up and ready for delivery. Where were my kids you may ask? Well, they were helping roll and dip, unwrap Hershey kisses, watching an assortment of Christmas movies, taking turns sneaking cookies and rolling each other down the stairs in a suitcase.(More about that on Monday). All in all a wonderful day. Thanks Kristen! What a blast.

Homeschooling blues

Okay, I just need to get my thoughts down and get all this stuff in me out.

I felt the Lord calling me to home school when Ethan was 3. I remember exactly where I was when it was confirmed. In Ann's kitchen. I read an researched for a year while the boys were in preschool at our church. I was ready. It was going to be a great experience. The days were going to be filled with fun, laughter and learning. Then reality set in. Home schooling is hard. I had hoped my teaching background would help but I think it makes me more uptight and I am definitely not prepared to handle three on different levels. We muddled through last year reading books and taking nature walks. This year I felt we needed to do a little more. It is a constant struggle. Everyone wanting my attention and my focus to be on them. I am frustrated and tired. Where were all my grand ideas? It has been a frustrating day. A day where I was not kind or self-less. A day where I was very disappointed in myself and my kids. A day where I ended up in tears in my bedroom. But then on my knees I found help. On my knees I found forgiveness. On my knees I found strength. On my knees I found comfort. On my knees I found wisdom. So, tomorrow may not be a very different result, but I feel confident that I will remember who called me to this and that with Him I can do anything. Who knows, I may even use one of my grand ideas?

Thank you God that your mercies are new every morning.

I did not suffer from PMS so bad last week that I explained to my boys about hormones to later have my 5 yo ask, "Mommy are you yelling because of those horzones." I would never yell at my children or use PMS as an excuse to be a grump.

Have a great Monday.