Homeschooling blues

Okay, I just need to get my thoughts down and get all this stuff in me out.

I felt the Lord calling me to home school when Ethan was 3. I remember exactly where I was when it was confirmed. In Ann's kitchen. I read an researched for a year while the boys were in preschool at our church. I was ready. It was going to be a great experience. The days were going to be filled with fun, laughter and learning. Then reality set in. Home schooling is hard. I had hoped my teaching background would help but I think it makes me more uptight and I am definitely not prepared to handle three on different levels. We muddled through last year reading books and taking nature walks. This year I felt we needed to do a little more. It is a constant struggle. Everyone wanting my attention and my focus to be on them. I am frustrated and tired. Where were all my grand ideas? It has been a frustrating day. A day where I was not kind or self-less. A day where I was very disappointed in myself and my kids. A day where I ended up in tears in my bedroom. But then on my knees I found help. On my knees I found forgiveness. On my knees I found strength. On my knees I found comfort. On my knees I found wisdom. So, tomorrow may not be a very different result, but I feel confident that I will remember who called me to this and that with Him I can do anything. Who knows, I may even use one of my grand ideas?

Thank you God that your mercies are new every morning.