Success

How do you measure the success of a day? Is it that you got all your boxes checked on your to-do list? Or maybe its that you completed a day without screaming at your kids. Or even that you didn't go through the drive-thru but planned ahead and got a decent meal on the table. For me that is how I measured success for a long time. I grew up in a very performance driven household. You were as good as what you did. The more things you did and finished(even if you didn't enjoy it) the more of value you were. Over the last year God has been stirring in my heart. Changing my perspective. The only worth I have is that I am His. Not any committee I serve on or a Southern Living worthy home. I am finding contentment in the lego covered floor and the pile of shoes by the door. I now look at the piles of dirty laundry and think of the fun that was had getting them dirty. I think of the proud face holding a frog as his pants are dripping on the kitchen floor because he jumped in the creek to get it. I find myself smiling at the puddle on the floor and reach over to scratch his head a we mop up the mess together. I am much less likely to use the phrase "in just a minute". There is a gentle tugging when there is excitement in their voices to run and see, even if the vaccum is still in the hallway a few hours later. I am changing, my perspective is different and I am so thankful. I would truly be missing out. So, if you were to ask me if I had a successful day I would think back...Let's see yesterday we dropped everything and loaded up the bikes to enjoy the 60 degree weather and go the park. Stopped at Feeney's for a snack. Ran an errand.
Today, as predicted, the rain is here. We have slept in , stayed in our pjs, watched a science movie, made a craft, put away winter clothes and played a few games. I have had numerous hugs and kisses and lots of I love you mom. Is my list checked off, no, but all the important things were done. So, I would say it has been a very successful two days.

New song that helped. The static is lessening. Resting in His Arms. I will make it through.

Static

Yes, I have been struggling. Is it okay to say that in this world where no one really wants to know the heart of another? When we are so busy that the perfunctory "How are you" is just a habit and not a craving for the knowledge of another persons hurts, difficulties, and joy. When you respond any other way than "fine" you get raised eyebrows. Well, raise your eyebrows. I am not fine. I am really struggling. I have seen God's hand working in so many ways. He has comforted me and loved me through some hard days. I know He will continue, but I have lately I have felt like I am listening to a great song on the radio that is not coming in too good. You know you can hear the music and the words but there is so much static that it is hard to concentrate on the song. That's how I feel. The static in my life is distracting me, it is keeping my focus off of God and His goodness. I see it,I recognize it but I am not sure how to get rid of the static. So, I am struggling. I want to live this life to the fullest. To embrace every moment as the gift it is but then I hear the static. I want to run away from it all and just have quiet, but that is not practical. In fact, the scream that just came from downstairs is telling me that there will be no quiet any time soon.:) Lord, I need you to show me how to get rid of the static.

The faith of a child.

Okay so today was a normal day. School was planned and ready to go. I never thought that my lesson on flowers would end up with a sex education class. We were talking about the flower parts and the stamen and the pistel. How you have to have that to have seeds....Then my oldest says, so how does that work anyway? I said well...(I am still thinking he is talking about flowers). Then he said no, not the flowers but with you and Daddy. Let's just say I postponed the talk for a few hours and spent quiet hour studying up on a few books and praying. Did not expect this today but I am very thankful I had the opportunity to talk to him. God was very gracious and gave me the right words. He asked a lot of questions and left happy with the explanations I gave him. Honestly, I am not sure what I was so worried about. It was easy to talk to him about the beautiful gift God gives to husband and wives. It made me realize how warped our culture has made this gift but to my big boy it was all very simply God's plan. The faith of a child.
Thank you God.