Wasted time

Yesterday was spent doing. I needed a day to run around, not to think so much, not to be consumed by sadness. Did it work? No! I spent most of the drive in the car crying as I listened to my favorite CD really loud. (My little monkeys were not with me). I was shocked as I looked at the car next to me and the man(for a moment) reminded of my dad. As the morning went on though the routine took over. Go to the bank. Run to target. Get milk. And for awhile I wasn't quite as sad but after the Christmas program and picking Sophie up, routine took over and I reached for my cell to call my dad. Reality hit full force, but I called anyway just to listen to the machine. It's not him, just an automated recording but it is So him. I miss him. I hate that so much time was wasted in so many ways. So today, it is 10:00, I am still in my pj's. My husband is snow(iced) in. There is a huge fire downstairs and I have three beautiful people who would love to have a day with Mommy. A day of laughter and games. A day of tickles and books read. A day where the laundry can wait. The bed doesn't have to be made. A day where the lesson plans can be put away. A day the list just doesn't seem to matter so much. A day of time not wasted. A day of memories made and family cherished. Because in the end we are not known for what we have or the product of our life but the things unseen will matter the most.