Relief and guilt

Today I feel relieved. Relieved that I am no longer having to wonder when he is going to start drinking again or get mad or if he is taking his meds or gambling his money away or buying groceries or be back in the hospital or die. I'm relieved that there are no more what ifs or what happens when. I am relieved that it's over. I am relieved that I no longer have to deal with a father who is an alcoholic and all the ramifications that go with that. I am relieved and for that I feel guilty.