Success

How do you measure the success of a day? Is it that you got all your boxes checked on your to-do list? Or maybe its that you completed a day without screaming at your kids. Or even that you didn't go through the drive-thru but planned ahead and got a decent meal on the table. For me that is how I measured success for a long time. I grew up in a very performance driven household. You were as good as what you did. The more things you did and finished(even if you didn't enjoy it) the more of value you were. Over the last year God has been stirring in my heart. Changing my perspective. The only worth I have is that I am His. Not any committee I serve on or a Southern Living worthy home. I am finding contentment in the lego covered floor and the pile of shoes by the door. I now look at the piles of dirty laundry and think of the fun that was had getting them dirty. I think of the proud face holding a frog as his pants are dripping on the kitchen floor because he jumped in the creek to get it. I find myself smiling at the puddle on the floor and reach over to scratch his head a we mop up the mess together. I am much less likely to use the phrase "in just a minute". There is a gentle tugging when there is excitement in their voices to run and see, even if the vaccum is still in the hallway a few hours later. I am changing, my perspective is different and I am so thankful. I would truly be missing out. So, if you were to ask me if I had a successful day I would think back...Let's see yesterday we dropped everything and loaded up the bikes to enjoy the 60 degree weather and go the park. Stopped at Feeney's for a snack. Ran an errand.
Today, as predicted, the rain is here. We have slept in , stayed in our pjs, watched a science movie, made a craft, put away winter clothes and played a few games. I have had numerous hugs and kisses and lots of I love you mom. Is my list checked off, no, but all the important things were done. So, I would say it has been a very successful two days.

New song that helped. The static is lessening. Resting in His Arms. I will make it through.

Static

Yes, I have been struggling. Is it okay to say that in this world where no one really wants to know the heart of another? When we are so busy that the perfunctory "How are you" is just a habit and not a craving for the knowledge of another persons hurts, difficulties, and joy. When you respond any other way than "fine" you get raised eyebrows. Well, raise your eyebrows. I am not fine. I am really struggling. I have seen God's hand working in so many ways. He has comforted me and loved me through some hard days. I know He will continue, but I have lately I have felt like I am listening to a great song on the radio that is not coming in too good. You know you can hear the music and the words but there is so much static that it is hard to concentrate on the song. That's how I feel. The static in my life is distracting me, it is keeping my focus off of God and His goodness. I see it,I recognize it but I am not sure how to get rid of the static. So, I am struggling. I want to live this life to the fullest. To embrace every moment as the gift it is but then I hear the static. I want to run away from it all and just have quiet, but that is not practical. In fact, the scream that just came from downstairs is telling me that there will be no quiet any time soon.:) Lord, I need you to show me how to get rid of the static.

The faith of a child.

Okay so today was a normal day. School was planned and ready to go. I never thought that my lesson on flowers would end up with a sex education class. We were talking about the flower parts and the stamen and the pistel. How you have to have that to have seeds....Then my oldest says, so how does that work anyway? I said well...(I am still thinking he is talking about flowers). Then he said no, not the flowers but with you and Daddy. Let's just say I postponed the talk for a few hours and spent quiet hour studying up on a few books and praying. Did not expect this today but I am very thankful I had the opportunity to talk to him. God was very gracious and gave me the right words. He asked a lot of questions and left happy with the explanations I gave him. Honestly, I am not sure what I was so worried about. It was easy to talk to him about the beautiful gift God gives to husband and wives. It made me realize how warped our culture has made this gift but to my big boy it was all very simply God's plan. The faith of a child.
Thank you God.

The little things.

I have just finished reading this book 1000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp over at http://www.aholyexperience.com. This is one of those life-changing books. Thank you Lord for this book and the work I see you doing in my heart through it. Lord, thank you that I didn't miss what happened in Ethan's game on Saturday. What may have seemed insignificant was truly from You. How else can you explain a grown woman jumping up and down with tears streaming down her face because a basket was scored. Not because the game was won but because I watched a Godly man not care about the score but about the hearts of the players. I watched as a whole team rallied around "the least of these" to help him get a basket. They spent 2 quarters of the game getting the ball to the this little bit of a boy who can't even get the ball to the rim in hopes he would score. Each player watched for an opportunity for him to be open and would get him the ball. Shot after shot. Not even close. Then it looked like the whole team made a wall for him and the other team even backed off. Up, goes the ball and swish. The delight and joy on this little boys face and the parents,they were beyond proud. No one wants their kid to be the only one without a basket the entire season. Troy and I had been praying that each player would score this season. Not only did he answered but every player scored in the last game of the season and they won by two points. God is good and I have no doubt He cares about the little things. Go Dragons!

A funny

Okay so this morning we were getting ready for church. Caden came into the bathroom and very proudly was holding out six cents, "Look what Sophie gave me mommy." I responded, "wow that was very kind of her." Fast forward 10 minutes as we are walking out the door. "Sophie did you feed the cats?" Sophie says, " No, but I took care of it. I gave Caden lots of cents to do it for me." That girl is a mess.

Things Realized

I have had a lot going on in my head lately and I have come to realize a few things, some are new revelations and some are old things I have been reminded of.

1. The desert isn't always a bad place. Look at the Israelites they were led and feed by God for 40 years.

2. The mountain top experience is always worth the climb.

3. When on the mountain top be careful not to look down at people still climbing.

4. God's timing is always right on time.

5. Just because an experience isn't a good one doesn't mean it is not a God one.

6. Although Christian books are great, nothing should replace my Bible.

7. The Bigger and harder it gets to hold my babies the more I want to.

8. Reading great books, looking for worms and making cookies for the neighbors IS home schooling.

9. I do not have to live in Mommy guilt because I missed the boat on something. I just need to catch the boat.

10. A nice chai latte can soothe the savage beast.

11. Peeing in my pants while chasing my kids and jumping on the trampoline are inevitable but worth it.

12. My knees are not nearly calloused enough.

13. Living a life of thanksgiving truly changes your perspective.

14. Surrounding yourself with people that live a life of thanksgiving makes all the difference.

15. I can't do it all myself.

16. It is okay to trash everything and start over.

17. The Mommy "hat" is the hardest, most rewarding and most forgiving hat I wear.

and last but certainly not least God is so good.