Lots of changes

The last few months have been a roller coaster. My emotions have been up and down.
change 1:
My dad(who I haven't seen or spoken to in over 3 years) is in stage 4 cirrhosis and has progressive alcohol dementia. He is no longer able to care for himself and we have been trying to find placement for him. It is hard because his disposition is not exactly the best(to put it mildly). There have been lots of phone calls, emails and trips to the hospital trying to take care of him. I don't mind. It has been great to just touch him and hear his voice.

Change 2:

In the midst of this my mom is moving in. I know most people cringe but I am looking forward to it. I am praying it will be a time for my mom and I to restore some old hurts and build a better relationship. I am looking forward to a live in babysitter(just kidding mom, well a little). You always think about possibly taking care of your parents but I didn't think it would be both at the same time. We have been moving rooms, rearranging things and painting getting ready for the move.

Change 3:

The air on my Astro died and we had to buy a new(to us) van. Not exactly what we were wanting to do but I love my Honda Odyssey.

Change 4:

Probably the most difficult. After 12 years at the same church we have joined another. It was a leading by God and logistics.(we live a long way from our old church) It was time to be a part of the community we live in. I like our new church but it is so different. I miss my old friends and I do not like being the new girl.

Do I think any of these things are coincidence? NO, God is faithful and teaching me a lot. I am having to lean on Him like never before in my life. When I think I cannot take one more minute He gently reminds me that He is my help and my source of strength. I am not particularly enjoying this season of growth but I am loving this deeper relationship with the Lord.

Don't know when I'll be back but for those who are still tuning in this is where I am. I covet your prayers.
Tara

Pam, you win.

Okay, so how can I not respond to being hijacked. Pam is a dear dear friend and I just had to laugh yesterday when I received her email that at the end had a "oh fyi I hijacked your blog." So, I moseyed on over here and I love what she wrote. It was very encouraging and I do love that Kari Jobe song. I am in a very difficult situation. I don't know if I am ready or able to put down my thoughts into words. But for those of you who are praying I will tell you this much. My dad has been placed in a nursing home. He has hepatic encepalpathy, which is basically alcohol induced dementia. He has no hope of returning home. I am his power of attorney. My sibling and I aren't seeing eye to eye on how to handle things. Of all the scenarios I had prepared myself for with his alcoholism this is one that never crossed my mind. I am physically, emotionally and mentally spent but spiritually I am full. I am leaning on my all in all and He is being faithful and filling me up. I can see how He has been preparing me for this and I am trusting Him to "work all things for good...according to his good pleasing and perfect will." Please continue praying for me as I get things settled. I am not promising that I am "back" but we will see. Today I am just resting. Spending time in my pj's watching cartoons with my kids. Resting that God is in control and I am grateful. Thanks Pam. I needed a (not so gentle) push. Love you.

YOU HAVE BEEN HIJACKED!!!!!!!

My name is Pam. I am one of many of Tara's friends. Also lovingly known as "Ta-Ta" by my 3 year old. Tara has been "away" from her blog for some time as you can see from her last post a while back.
I chose to "Hijack" her blog today to tell her how much I care about her and how much I pray for her. How much she means to me. How precious she is not only to me but to all of those around her.
We joke frequently about the fact that she can "call me out" on something that no one else is brave enough to and I can do like wise with her. We can go for a run and I can challenge and push her and then be "lovingly" called "Jillian".
She is dealing with a lot of change and a lot of things that someone in their 30's don't really think about having to deal with. She has been such a strong woman of faith. She is encouragement and compassion and love and grace and understanding. She is such an awesome friend.
She doesn't know that I am doing this and she may kill me when she finds it. If you have stopped by today and found my post, I would ask that you would pray for her. Leave a comment in the comment section. She would love to hear from you. I am not at liberty to share details and pray that she would be able to use this blog to share her heart, her frustration, her joys and her excitement on here. I'm including at the bottom of this post one of I believe her favorite songs by Kari Jobe. We have posted it a couple of times on our Women's Ministry Blog and we have talked about it on numerous occassions. Tara, it is my prayer for you!!!!! Rest, Renew and Regain your strength in Him. He is what we need!!!!!! I love you dear sister!!!!!!!
2 favorite scriptures to challenge and encourage you with.
Psalm 121 and 1 Sam 12:23.

Love you,
Pam

I had trouble getting up and getting started this morning. The kids were content to snuggle up close in the bed and I really did not want to face the day. A list of endless chores, errands and math test were taunting me with the fact that I would never get to it all. I am defeated before my feet hit the floor, that nasty lying voice in my ear convincing me how worthless I am because there are 5 loads of laundry to be folded and 3 to be washed, a floor to be vaccumed and I am not sure what was in that container in the back of the fridge. But then I a quieter, calmer voice says I love you my daughter and a clean house(or not so clean house) will change that. Remember I am your helper and shield. You can do this, I am with you. So, I make the choice to get up and by the time I am downstairs there is a smile on my face and three excited children ready for the day begging for my pancakes. By the time breakfast is over the cloud has lifted
I am thankful for...

31. clothes to wear
32. food to eat
33. woods to get poison ivy in
34. friends who see if you are following through on exercising
35. snuggles
36. family
37. a husband who values my input
38. a boss who wants the best for you
39. friends who pray for you
40. creeks and splashing
41. mudpies
42. salvation
43. the faith of a child
44. fun and laughter of a team
45. crockpots
46. God does not require perfection
47. a sermon that convicts
48. God working and changing my heart
49. catching my child stealing
50. women in Target bathroom who encourage me to stay firm

Not My kids Monday

Ethan did not ask for me to put a tatoo of a frog on the middle of his forehead and proceed to wear it all week.

Caden has a new fervor for the lastest hairstyles and

Mama cat

This phrase has new meaning to me because we just had a litter of kittens. I saw that Mama cat get all protective and the claws come out when she thought her babies were in danger. Well, I became the Mama cat yesterday. Ethan had to get his first cavity filled. Let's say that it did not go very well. There were a series of events that had me out of my chair, claws drawn ready to protect my baby(I know he is not a baby anymore, but you get the point). I don't think I have ever had this experience before. Most people would describe me as laid back and easy going with the kids, but I have to say I was anything but laid back yesterday. I was ready to pounce on that dentist. I did let him know I was extremely unhappy and needless to say we left with no plans of returning. Two things came from this situation. 1) Was my reaction was pleasing to God. I don't want my reaction to a situation deny Christ presence in me. Not sure if I did that or not. Still working through it. What I do know is that His mercies are new each morning and whether or not I acted the right way or not God is perfectly able to forgive me, love me, challenge me and show me how to perservere through trials in ways that prove His Spirit resides in me. I had a lot of people praying for yesterday's visit. Do I now think the prayers weren't answered? No, they weren't answered in the way I had hoped but He works all things for good for those that love Him according to His perfect will and I can see His provision and his leading in this situation. The second thing I saw was a new appreciation for the sacrifice God made by sending his one and only son to die for us on the cross. God watched his son in great pain and he allowed it because of His love for us. Wow!

1. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Ashley Judd or Reese Witherspoon they are just so southern and I would love to be that cute and petite.

2. Did you ever go to summer camp? Yes, I went to church camp every summer from 2nd grade until about 7th grade and then I went to basketball camp every summer with the team.

3. What sends you running and screaming in the other direction? Whining, Whining , oh did I mention whining.

4. What is something you do that drives your spouse nuts? I am notorious for not putting things back where they go

5. What is currently your favorite song? Anything by Kari Jobe or Shannon Wexelberg and I love Tim Mcgraw's new song Southern boys